I’ve been creating a website about shopping with intention. Now I’m wondering what I’ve done to my shopping habits — and possibly to my friendships!
Something rather unexpected has happened since I started Silver Wave by Design.
I’ve changed the way I shop.
I discovered just how much the other day when I went shopping in Denarau, Fiji. I desperately need some new clothes. My wardrobe belongs largely to another chapter of my life, and living in the tropics presents its own challenges.
You’d think I’d be delighted to have an excuse to go shopping.
And I was. Sort of!
As I walked through the shops, I realised I was moving remarkably quickly. A glance at a rack was often all I needed.
The colours were too bright, the prints weren’t for me, the neckline was wrong, or the fabric simply didn’t have the quality I wanted.
Occasionally, something caught my eye and deserved a closer look. But if it failed those first few tests, I moved on.
No rummaging through every garment. No convincing myself something might work if only I found the right thing to wear with it. And certainly no buying something simply because I needed clothes.
It struck me that I’d started putting into practice the very principles I’d been writing about for SWBD.
Somewhere along the way, thinking about colour, shape, fabric and personal style had sharpened my own eye. I was recognising what wasn’t right for me before I’d even considered trying it on.
The trouble with knowing what you’re looking for.
Once you understand what works for your body, your colouring, your lifestyle and your wardrobe, shopping becomes a rather different exercise.
You start noticing things you might once have overlooked. You consider how a fabric will wear, whether the shape flatters you and whether the garment will work with what you already own.
Of course, that doesn’t mean everything has to be perfect. I’m quite prepared to make reasonable compromises when something has enough going for it.
But there’s a difference between a sensible compromise and buying something you already know isn’t right for you.
I’m becoming much more comfortable with walking away — and that brings me to a rather concerning question.
Will my girlfriends ever shop with me again?
Some of my friends love shopping. They can happily work their way along an entire rack, pulling out one garment after another, exploring possibilities and trying on different styles.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Shopping can be an outing, an adventure and a lovely way to spend time together.
But I can already imagine myself standing beside them, having mentally dismissed half the shop before they’ve reached the end of the first rack.
Will I have the patience to wait while they try on seventeen different tops?
Will I be tempted to say, “The colour doesn’t suit you, the neckline isn’t doing you any favours, and I don’t think that fabric is going to wear particularly well”?
Perhaps I’d better keep some of my observations to myself!
The last thing I want is to turn a pleasant shopping expedition into a consultation nobody requested. Besides, my friends might discover something wonderful that I would have walked straight past.
And that would be a good reminder that knowing what works for me doesn’t mean I’ve seen everything worth discovering.
Sandra, consider yourself warned!
There’s one particular friend who might need to pay attention to this little confession.
Sandra is coming to visit in about a month’s time, and we have a history of enjoying a good shopping expedition together.
When we used to go to Adelaide, our main mission was to pick up stock for Sandra’s shop. We’d get that done fairly quickly, then move on to the really important business of the day.
A hair trim. Nails. A massage. A brow tint.
And then, of course, clothes shopping!
It was a lovely routine, and we girls certainly knew how to make a day of it.
This time, we’ll be shopping in Fiji. We may head to Lautoka or somewhere nearby, although Suva is another possibility if Sandra can be persuaded.
Wherever we end up, I can picture the scene already. Sandra is happily browsing, pulling things off racks and discovering possibilities, while I’m giving each rail a quick visual assessment.
Will I rediscover the joy of browsing with my friend? Will her enthusiasm rub off on me? Or will I be the one suggesting we’ve seen enough shops and should find somewhere nice for lunch?
Only time will tell!
Sandra, if you’re reading this, consider yourself officially pre-warned. 😂
I promise to be good company, enjoy our time together and resist turning every shopping trip into a lesson in wardrobe planning.
I make no promises about how long I’ll spend looking at the clothes!
Perhaps that’s the real lesson
My wardrobe still needs attention, and I’m certainly not expecting to find everything I want in Fiji. But I’m becoming clearer about what I like, what suits me and what deserves a place in my wardrobe.
I’m also learning that not buying something can be just as good a shopping decision as finding something wonderful.
Perhaps that’s what happens when you spend so much time thinking about clothes, bodies, colour, fabric and personal style. You start seeing things differently.
And perhaps that’s exactly what I hoped Silver Wave by Design would help other women do, too.
I haven’t stopped enjoying clothes. I’m simply learning to shop with greater purpose — while hoping I haven’t lost the pleasure of shopping with friends along the way.
After all, there must be a compromise.
First, we shop.
Then, we have lunch.
And if I finish looking before everyone else, I’ll practise the art of patience.
That could be the real challenge!
Over to you
Have your shopping habits changed over the years? Do you still love browsing through every rack, or do you now know almost immediately whether something is right for you?
I’d love to hear your experiences.
As for me, I’ll report back after Sandra arrives. The clothes may or may not be successful, but the lunch, the laughs and the company are practically guaranteed.
Let’s hope I can still enjoy the shopping, too!