PERMISSION

Living life on your own terms.

For years, I thought I needed other people’s approval before I made certain choices. Looking back, I can see how much space that took up in my life.

I wasn’t necessarily asking anyone to say yes. I was looking for reassurance that what I wanted was acceptable.

Perhaps you’ve done it too.

We learn very early to look around before we make a decision.

What will they think?

Will they understand?

Is this sensible?

Is this what someone my age is supposed to do?

And sometimes, without even realising it, we can spend years listening to everyone else’s opinions before we listen to our own.

But there comes a point when you realise that you don’t need everyone to agree with you.

You don’t even need them to understand.

You simply need to know that the

choice feels right for you.

When we know who we are, we no longer watch for permission to be ourselves.

WHOSE VOICE ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

FAMILY - the expectations we’ve carried for years
FRIENDS - the opinions of people whose lives may be very different from ours
FASHION - All those rules about what we should wear, how we should look and what is supposedly appropriate at our age
MAGAZINES & MEDIA - The endless messages about how we should look, live and feel
TELEVISION & SOCIAL MEDIA - Other people’s carefully edited versions of life
SELF-DOUBT - Perhaps the most persuasive voice of all

But here’s the thing.

None of those voices gets the final vote.

YOU DO

WHAT PERMISSION LOOKS LIKE

Sometimes permission is something quite small.

it might mean changing your mind without feeling guilty
it might mean saying no when you’d normally say yes
it might mean beginning something you’ve been putting off
it might mean wearing something because you love it, rather than because someone else thinks it suits your age
it might mean allowing yourself to be seen
or simply deciding that getting older doesn’t mean apologising for who you are.

You are allowed to choose differently.

You are allowed to discover new parts of yourself at any stage of life.

A LITTLE MORE PERMISSION FOR YOURSELF

Permission to dream again

Perhaps there is something you’ve quietly wanted to do for years. You don’t have to justify why it matters. If it still interests you, perhaps that’s enough.

Permission to put yourself first now and then

Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. You can’t keep giving from an empty cup, and you don’t have to earn the right to have some time for yourself.

Permission to make choices that feel right for you

Your life doesn’t have to make sense to everybody else. You’re the one who has to live it.

Permission to change your mind

What you wanted ten years ago may not be what you want now. That’s not failure. That’s life.

Permission to grow older in your own way

There isn’t one correct way to look, dress, live or feel at any particular age.

Permission to become someone you haven’t been before

A LETTER TO MYSELF

Today I stopped waiting for approval.

Not because I no longer care what other people think, but because I’ve realised that I don’t need everyone else’s agreement before I make a choice about my own life.

I can listen to advice.

I can consider other people’s feelings.

I can change my mind.

But ultimately, I get to decide.

I choose to become the woman I want to be.

Not the woman others expected.

Not the woman I used to be.

The woman I am choosing to be now.

Signed,